2013 USA Motorcycle Tour: Chapter 1, Preperations (and lack thereof)

Ever since I started riding, I've wanted to do a motorcycle tour. Blasting through state lines and living out of tank bags has an adventurous charm that I find impossible to resist. My 2011 trip to Indianapolis revealed but a taste of what (to me) an ideal motorcycle journey would be like, and I yearned for another trip with more mileage, more scenery and more tight twisting tarmac. 2013 was the year I was determined to make it all happen.

Ah, Indiana. Long ride ...

... but very boring.

The first rule I had set for the trip limited the number of riders to four. Any more riders and every gas stop would turn into a picnic, every food stop would turn into a full course meal and the hotel bathroom would resemble a giant chocolate lava cake explosion. As word of the trip spread, the four spots filled in quick and before long, I had assembled my party of merry men:

Ricky and his bone stock 2007 GSXR600. It was comfortable, 100% stock, 100% reliable and perhapse the most appropriate machine for the trip (out of our group anyways).

Alok and his riced out 1999 YZF-R6. Rattle can black paint, check. Massive rear sprocket, check. Excessively annoying HIDs, check. Did I mention the crank case breather blew smoke like a freight train? If any bike was going to explode, this was it.

Me and my highly tweaked ZX-7RR. Aside from the solo tail, dodgy suspension, barely broken in motor, spotty fueling, and hilariously vicious brakes, my ZX-7RR was the ultimate touring machine.

George and his immaculate 1998 YZF-R1. Taking this bike on a multi-day blast through rough/dirty country roads is like playing rugby with an Armani suit. On the other hand, it would look brilliant in photos.

With our group formed, attentions turned to dates. For reasons that made sense to at the time, we decided to depart on June 29 and return on July 3 which put our journey directly in the crossfire of Canada Day and the 4th of July. But at least we had some great roads in the north eastern united states to look forward to. Weeks before our departure date we plotted out our detailed day-to-day maps with giddy excitement.

Day 1 - Mississauga, Ontario > Lock Haven, Pennsylvania
Day 2 - Lock Haven, Pennsylvania > Utica, New York
Day 3 - Utica, New York > Lebanon, New Hampshire
Day 4 - Lebanon, New Hampshire > Elizabethtown, Vermont
Day 5 - Elizabethtown, Vermont > Mississauga, Ontario

Days before the trip the bikes got some new fluid and were probed to ensure nothing was going to fall off, leak, explode or catch fire (as entertaining as the latter might have been).

With everything ready to roll, the weather forecast for the north eastern United States took a swan dive. Every state that we planned to visit had some sort of extreme weather warning; tornadoes, flash floods, power outages, bridge collapses, mud slides, the lot! You would have thought the north eastern United States were simply going to disappear into the Atlantic Ocean!

Image stolen from accuweather.com

The news hit like a swift kick to the jugular. You see, we had planned the trip with the assumption that there would be fluffy clouds, azure skies, gentle breezes and magical unicorns. As a result, no one had bothered to pack stuff to deal with the wet and cold. Fortunately I managed to scramble some Frog Toggs from Royal Distributing in Whitby. My fellow adventurers however only had Jesus as their rain gear.

Despite only having a prayer for a rain coat, my brave band of riders decided democratically to carry on with the quest to ride the roads of the rain bogged United States as planned. Thus began my first real motorcycle road trip! What will happen? Will Alok's bike explode in the Adirondack mountains? Will George's R1 eject it's rear wheel while rocketing down the interstate? Or maybe we'll all die in a massive freak accident involving an air bus, an oil tanker and a herd of wild bears! Find out in the next chapter of 2013 USA Motorcycle Tour!

Second Annual Port Sydney Cruise

There's no getting around the fact that the riding season in Canada is rapidly drawing to a close. It seems just a few weeks ago that people were running around in shorts and then overnight everyone put on their adult pants and sweaters.

What's worse this year has been particularly dissapointing in terms of riding. Between two 'crashes' and various other real life engagements, I don't think I put any more than 3000Kms on my bike this year! Shameful!

With the winter chills drawing nearer every day, some local bikers decided to go on one last hurrah before tucking the bikes away for winter:

Ricky ...

... Georgy ...

... and me

Early in the morning on Friday, the three of us ditched work, saddled up and made a bee line for Port Sydney (where I originally bought my N1). While Port Sydney was right in the middle of cottage country, the roads, scenery, traffic sparsity, and lack of police were second to none in Southern Ontario. So quite worth the 2 hour ride to get there then.

For this trip, George brought along some very cool dash cams for us to capture all the action. If your ever in need of high quality, compact, purpose built action cam recording devices then look no further than George's Mobicam shop! Especailly if your in the GTA! No one else can match the quality for the price like Mobicam so drop him a line.

George had a camera mounted on the front of this R1 ...

... as well as the rear

Ricky had a tail mounted camera

I had a tank mounted camera

All cameras come with these strong-ass suction cup grips. They survived the battering winds of 401 without even breaking a sweat! AND they're fully adjustable to boot! Sweet!

After we were done noise polluting, we pulled into the quiet little town of Huntsville for a burger

Huntsville parking lot

Quiet burger joint on the lake :)

3 Basic Burgers please!

The seagulls begin to swarm!

 

One in a million lucky shot by George

Stomachs topped up and ready to head home

Stay tuned for dash cam footage! It's gonna be SWEEEeeett!

Indianapolis GP Day 2

Day 2 of the GP was the qualifying round for all the riders. We started the day nice and early.

Wet seats greet our brave effort to rise before the sun

America. Land of the free and home of the brave. Here you can see me exercising my freedom from nanny states and demonstrating my bravery against the prospect of a crushed scalp

Nothing like over-priced coffee to kick start your day

Now like I was saying earlier, day 2 of the Indianapolis GP was the qualifying round for all the riders. This isn't a huge spectacle really. I mean, sure there were a lot of very fast and very clean riding, but unless your sitting on the bike, you'll be hard pressed to tell the difference from the practice round. So R1 buddy and I took the opportunity to loitter about.

At the Yamaha tent, fans were given the opportunity to sit on a genuine MotoGP bike. George Lorenzo's Yamaha M1 will most likely be the most expensive piece of equipment I will ever have between my legs.

To the untrained eye, I may be sitting on a mere bike. However, the keen observer will recognize that what I actually have between my legs is 2 million dollars

Also at the Yamaha tent was a demonstration of human cloning. What has happened here is Yamaha, being quite upset at losing Rossi to Ducati, had attempted to develop and train clones to replace him.


Clone number 7 overtakes clone number 3 on the outside!


Suddenly the over-priced coffees from earlier had caught up. R1 Buddy and I thus took turns taking pictures of eachother deficating on the infield lawn....

  

After every bowl movement, I look for Harley's to kick over



Without warning, the 800cc V4 bellow of the MotoGP bikes engulfed the ambient chatter of the infield festivities. R1 Buddy and I scramble to look for decent locations to snap some pics from. Being on the far east side of the track, we were too far from the grandstands. Across to the golf course then!

This plastic bridge connects the race track infield to the golf course attached to the speedway. Who thought it was a good idea to build a golf course IMMEDIATELY next to a freaking race track?

Look at the happy photographer and his overdone SLR ...

... let me show you how its done. Damn these bikes are fast.

Colin Edwards reving his bike till my ears bleed

With the MotoGP bikes done ruining everyone's hearing, R1 Buddy and I go in search for other things to occuppy ourselves with.

A quick peek behind the restricted area earned me stern looks from Dunlop engineers



I am surely mounted on the most hideous bike ever. Notice how everyone under the Honda tent seems to avoid visual contact with The new CBR1000RR on purpose. R1 Buddy's eyes actually started to bleed after taking this picture (Sorry man)



Now this is a PROPER Honda :)

Unlike the new CBR1000RR, the KTM RC8 is a beautiful bike. the body is a little angular for my taste, but I can definately see the appeal

You can forget your Ducatis, you can screw off with your Aprilias. The RC8 up close is simply stunning

Just look at all those gadgets. I'm having a crisis just looking at the picture!

The rear shock mounting is just... inspired. Gorgeous beyond my ability to describe with my pathetic grasp of the english language

R1 Buddy and I finished looking at bikes and went to do some shopping instead.

Colin Edwards showed up to give the shoppers some swag ...

... but fled when the Rossi fans showed up



"Hey ladies, I'm buddies with Colin Edwards, he gave me a hat!"

In the mean time, instead of grabbing hats from Colin Edwards, R1 Buddy robbed a Dianese shop of a pair of gloves

Now, immediately next to the entrance/exit of the race track is where Ducati decided to set up their tent. On wait, I'm sorry its not a tent, its an 'island'... Ducati Island. Anyways to get in or out, you HAVE to walk by it and you can bet your major limbs that Ducati will do everything short of physical assault to get you to see their pomp.

Welcome to Ducati Island. Home of the greatest population of cocks, posers, and broken bikes in the whole state of Indiana

R1 Buddy and I normally avoid Ducati's like lava but supple female Ducati frames roped us in. Well played Ducati, well played. 



Look, Ducati even provides a floor model that you can touch and feel!



For all the good their marketing department may do, Ducati's GP bikes are still rubbish this year. Just look at me passing Rossi on the inside

Having withstood all the smug we could handle, of which Ducati Island was positively submerged in, we trotted off to down town Indianapolis for lunch. From what I've seen, Indianapolis is a fairly pleasant place.

Downtown Indianapolis > Downtown Toronto

Even a local fancy dining joint got into the MotoGP spirit. Here we see statues with painted on shirts representing the Yamaha Factory racing team...

... the Repsol Honda racing team ...

... and Ducati Team

This is the center of the city. And in the middle of the center of the city stands erect, a massively phalic monument to honor the heritage of Indianapolis

This image should say everything you need to know about my dedication to the quality of my blog

R1 Buddy: "Hmmmm.... I wonder whats behind this door"

A baseball diamond? Football field? Race track?

After romping around the city, R1 Buddy and I found some truly fine dining.

Appetizing ain't it. Harry & Izzy's I mean

R1 Buddy and I were woefully under-dressed for the venue

Possibly the best prime rib I've ever had

After lunch we headed back to the track where the speedway has organized a pit walkthrough, giving us the opportunity to get right down to the level of all the action.

Here we go then

I finally get take a picture with pit lane and this jackass is in ALL my pictures. Hey cock munch, if your reading this I hope you eat shit, get cancer (in the ass) and on your very last breath, suffer death by skull fuck after which your remains will be cast into a meat bat that I will use to clobber your douchebag photographer with. Assholes

Look at that! The pit garage lane is MASSIVE!

Ms. Hilton's race team ...

... Ms. Hilton's VERY well backed race team

That there is a GOLD plated air box! Like the engine bay of a McLaren F1!

And that's all day 2 of the Indianapolis GP had to offer. Time to call it a wrap.

Traditional EOD McDonalds

We retired our bikes flanking the hotel entrance. Two neon jewels against a mass of dreary black and grey Harley's. Stupendous.